Month: May 2013

He Loves Her/He Loves Her Not

Is that your man?  I saw him with my sister.   What was I supposed to say?  I could not believe this was happening.  My baby sister who is so in love, I had no idea he was married and neither did she.  She had been through so much after losing her child in a freak accident.  This incident almost drove her insane.  It had been 2 years to date since we lost Andy but it still seems like it was only yesterday.  I can still see him playing in the yard.  It was his fifth birthday and we were preparing a party.  It was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky.  I remember Sue, my sister, asking me to help hang the balloons, I said ok sure, my big ass is good for something, just hold the ladder steady, don’t let me fall.  Andy was in his play pin playing with his favorite toy (a clown in a music box).  I must have turned my head for 1 second when it happened, a lady came whaling into the yard at 80 miles an hour, tearing down fences driving straight into my sister’s house.  Sue screamed, where’s Andy, oh my god, my baby.  There he was, it was the most horrific site I had ever seen. Blood was everywhere, and his little head was...

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My Wants/Your Needs

What does your mate want from you? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself that one simple question, what does my mate want from me? Are we really right for each other or is there a hidden agenda that I’m not aware of. Have you ever wondered how does a relationship last for over 30 years? What is the key to an everlasting relationship? I myself wanted to know the answers to these questions so l decided to do some research. I met a lady on the bus, her name was Marian. I could tell she was somewhat stressed and seemed to be in hurry. I managed to get her to warm up to me and she started to talk. She told me she was 63 years old and had 7 children who were all grown and long gone. Now, it was her and her husband. She called him, Henry. I said to her, so Marian since you have no kids at home and you and your husband are finally alone, what Is your exciting highlite of the day. You must go out a lot since it’s just the two of you right? She looked at me with saddened eyes and said no. I have to get home and prepare dinner before he gets home because if I don’t have it ready, he’ll be angry and he won’t speak...

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Love Is All We Need

The Convention:  Love should be spontaneous, not scripted.  The Counter:  “If you negotiate difficult issues up front, your relationship will have a much stronger footing, “says Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D. a Manhattan-based marriage therapist.  See:  cohabitation agreements increasing 39 percent in the past five years,   per the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and couples creating DIY versions, using sites like 4relationshipcontract.com. Even the prince and princess of Silicon Valley, Mark Zuckerberg and his then girlfriend (now wife) Priscilla Chan, reportedly made one. The Realistic Approach: When the two of you get serious, discuss how you each want the relationship to work, says Hokemeyer. “Tell him, I want us both to be happy, so let’s talk.”  Hash out issues like sex, money, religion, and chores.  Putting the plan into writing is key, but involving the law is optional.  Another difficult subject and one that is sometimes hard to discuss is family.  How far should you go with family?  How obligated are you to go with family.  For example:  He might be close to his family but you are not, you’re used to having your privacy and you’re well within your right.  If he wants to spend time with his children, brother or sister or any member in his family, it’s ok but you have the option to participate.  If you don’t want to be bothered, don’t!!  You are married to him,...

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And the Big Question Is: What about the G-Spot?

Great Sexpectations A revealing new study has pinpointed the true sources of sexual pleasure for women.  Let the findings reignite your sex life…if you dare. Women haven’t been waiting for a lab report to learn that sexual sensation centered on the vagina is different from sensation centered on the clitoris-or on the breasts, for that matter.  But apparently this is breaking news to sex researchers, who have only recently confirmed these facts using high-tech brain scans.  And if this information comes as a surprise to your partner too, you’ll be able to change your sex life in the most satisfying ways imaginable.  This new research comes from Rutgers University, where Barry Rh. Komisasruk, PhD, has been studying women’s sexual response for 3 decades.  He and his colleagues have now shown that not only does stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, cervix, and nipples activate distinct brain regions of the genital sensory zone of the cortex but also that titillating one area affects other sexual brain sectors as well. These findings are especially important to long-standing couples, who all too easily fall into sexual ruts according to Nan Wise, a certified sex therapist and PhD candidate in Dr. Komisaruk’s lab.  The same old, same old sex routines don’t work for women because female sexuality is nuanced and complex-more like a symphony than a cymbal clang.  If your partner’s approach to sex is one...

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Friends No More

I’d never imagined our friendship would end, and certainly not like this. But on an otherwise ordinary afternoon, a scathing missive arrived from one of my best pals: a litany of my flaws and mistakes, along with my most mortifying secrets, amassed over the years we’d known each other and thrown back in my face. What prompted this vicious e-mail attack? A friendship I’d struck up with someone my close friend-unbeknownst to me-had a brutal grudge against. For day’s afterward, I walked around dazed, alternating between grief over our falling-out and growing anger at her cruel words. But I didn’t realize which of the two feelings was stronger until my phone rang weeks later. Sounding humbled, she asked if we could talk. I considered her request for all of three seconds, and then hung up. Getting Your Grudge On In a perfect world, everyone would be high-minded enough to move past petty pals, scheming coworkers, and lying’, cheating, mates. But when someone you love and trust hurts you, it’s like taking a sucker punch to your emotional six-pack. Withholding forgiveness is a way of doling out justice and letting the other person know that his or her bad behavior has repercussions. But consider this: Forgiveness isn’t just good for your soul, it can be good for your health too. According to a recent study that appeared in the Journal...

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